199 - Depression

The young David was sent to play his music to soothe King Saul. What maladies had befallen the ruler? Since January I have been struggling with my own demons. Depression is a state that can paralyze. I find myself wondering what to do next, how to continue to put one foot before the other and move ahead. And I struggle to find words that will continue to sing my soul to God. What once came so easily, poured into me, has slowed to a trickle that requires all my concentration and effort. I know that this will eventually resolve, but for now, I am caught.

One Hundred Ninety-Nine

Depression

I awake bewildered.
As the last dream remnants fade,
And dawn expands to define the day,
I seek You.

Pull me up through clouds of ennui
That threaten my ability to sing to You.
Focus my heart to forge ahead;
Push away the stilled silence.

I am as a snared bird.
My wings cannot lift to flutter
Beyond the trap.
Free me from this weakness.

Fortify me with Your care,
For I am needy for strength;
Firm my loosened limbs
So my lips can open to honor You.