173 - For This Body

After weeks of a confused silence, I have found my way back to regular morning prayers. The health crisis that shook me at the beginning of the year is past. I have regained strength and enough distance from that episode to once again be able to chant the words with the proper intention. Except for one.

As a person living with disabilities, Asher Yatzar is hard to pray. Here is what it says:

Asher Yatzar
We praise the Eternal Source of Life, Who has made our bodies in wisdom, creating openings, arteries, glands and organs, marvelous in structure, intricate in design. Should but one of them by being blocked or opened fail to function it would be impossible to stand before You. Wonderous Fashioner and Sustainer of Life, Source of our health and our strength, we give You thanks and praise.

How do I pray this when I cannot stand to pray, when I am sustained by an oxygen tank and by daily medications? How cannot I not pray this, when I believe that there is a Source that fashioned me as I was meant to be, Who has nothing to do with causing the alterations. Every morning I pray Asher Yatzar, but I also pray that God recognizes the accommodations I must make.

One Hundred Seventy-Three

For This Body

I praise You, Life Creator, with this damaged vessel,
Bone and muscle, organs, Your creation,
Now twisted and challenged,
The design altered from Your plan.

Though I cannot stand before You,
I will sit or recline or prop myself
To find fleeting comfort,
Allowing strength to sing to You.

Holy One, You have created me!
Yet chance has ravaged me;
No longer Your perfection,
I stumble out of rhythm, flailing.

Align me toward wholeness,
Untangled and soothed;
Sitting quietly, I praise You,
Waiting to fill with Your light.