134 - Hospice

As resident psalmist at my synagogue, I am sometimes able to write words especially for congregants who are in crisis. Early in my tenure, one of the members of our community was diagnosed with a rare form of connective tissue cancer. In his forties, married with a young daughter, he was a teacher in our daily Preschool. It was painful for all of us to follow the downward course of his illness - despite chemotherapy and surgery. But we were all blessed by his spirit; he was a man who, in his final days, still proclaimed that he was "the luckiest man on earth." During his last month, we talked on the phone many times, speaking of curing and of healing.

One Hundred Thirty-Four

Hospice

Holding You clearly within my heart,
I pause in my courage;
In that breath space,
You hear my bewilderment.

Holding within my heart Your closeness,
I send small flickers of anger
That devour this utter senselessness,
And then extinguish.

Holding You clearly within my heart,
I loose the bravery, the small talk
And allow my evolution
To reflect Your steadfastness.

Holding You in my very being,
The still place, the me of me,
I release the misery, the hopes lost
And know You gather me in.

Hold me in Your heart, Holy One
As I call upon You in these final days.
Listen as I hold You, Holy One,
My heart transforming, Your dwelling place.